National Orgasm Day
by Snavej
Summary: Shameless smut with a bit of plot thrown in? All in celebration of National Orgasm Day - totally a thing, honestly.


**So 31st July is many things, including, it turns out, National Orgasm Day. I found this out courtesy of Stephan Fry - Thank you Stephan - and as I had this idea poking around my head I thought today was a great day to share. Enjoy!**

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Oliver woke with a strange feeling in his groin. At first, he thought he just needed to pee. So he slipped out of bed without waking his wife and went to relieve himself.

But the feeling remained.

"Ah…"

Sensing an opportunity, he climbed back into bed and grabbed his book. There was enough light from the gap in the curtains for him to read by. As soon as his wife woke, however, he downed his book and shuffled back under the covers.

He then slipped an arm around his wife and pulled her closer. He kissed her neck and opened his mouth to speak when she laughed.

"What?" he asked, frowning and a little offended.

"Nothing."

"No, tell me."

"You're horny," Mai accused, the laughter still tainting her voice as she twisted over to look at her husband.

Oliver frowned. He did not often get 'horny' — oh how he hated that word — because… Well, he just didn't. He was not an overtly sexual person. But every now and then he would get an urge and usually, he just dealt with it. He had something else in mind for today. But first, he had to get the bottom of this mystery; how had Mai known?

"What? I haven't even said anything, how can you possibly—"

"You kissed my neck," she said. "You only ever do that when… You know…"

Oliver humphed and turned away. Mai laughed again.

"It—"

"Oh come here," she said, cupping his face and turning it towards her. "It's nothing to be ashamed of. It's sweet that you're so obvious."

"Cheers," Oliver deadpanned. "I was going to suggest that we… Never mind."

Mai reacted exactly as she wanted him to.

"No, tell me!" she begged. "Please?"

"No, it doesn't—"

"Please!"She sat up and climbed on top of her husband so that she was straddling him. "I won't let you go until you tell me!"

"You don't think I could get out of this?" Oliver asked, eyebrow raised and smirking.

"Try it," Mai dared.

Oliver sighed, then used his superior weight to flip Mai over so that she was flat on her back and he was perched between her legs. Mai wrapped her legs around his torso to prevent him from escaping.

"You've lost your bargaining piece," he pointed out.

"Oh no I haven't," she retorted, grinning wickedly. "Tell me, or I'll phone your mother and suggests that she visits because you miss her and are too stubborn to admit it."

Oliver narrowed his eyes for a fraction of a second.

"That's an excellent suggestion, we haven't seen my parents in a while—"

Mai batted Oliver in the chest and pushed him away.

"You're such a—"

Oliver laughed.

"I was thinking," he began, "that maybe we could start trying for a baby." Mai's mouth fell open. "We've been talking about it a lot and we more financially secure now and I know I'm not always in the mood for this sort of stuff but I am now and—"

Mai grabbed him by the t-shirt and silenced him with a kiss.

"Yes," she breathed. She kissed him again. "Definitely yes."

"Are you sure?" Oliver asked. "It would be a great stress on your body and—"

"Oliver, I've wanted this for years. Do not try and second guess me now."

He smiled and kissed her back. Mai did not waste time with pleasantries, she pulled the t-shirt he'd slept in over his head and threw it across the room. He had been about to laugh again, but Mai pressed her lips to his before he managed to make a sound.

She pushed him back down onto the bed and straddled him again. They broke apart long enough for Mai to pull her nightie off. It joined Oliver's t-shirt in the corner.

Mai placed Oliver's hands on her body and deepened the kiss.

Then Mai pushed away from her husband and laughed.

"What?" he asked, concerned.

"I was about to ask if we had any condoms," she said, still giggling.

Oliver appraised his giddy wife.

"I don't think you're taking this very seriously," he accused in a faux-annoyed tone.

"No, no! I am!"

Oliver rolled them over so that he was once again perched between Mai's legs. Then he pressed his lips to the spot just under his wife's ear. Her giggling protests morphed into a gasping moan and she gripped his arms. She quivered beneath him as he trailed kisses down to her collar bone, where he paused.

"No, don't stop!" she whined. "You're a dreadful teas— Oh!"

He had kissed the other side of her neck. He shifted his legs to take his own weight and then lightly caressed the inside of Mai's thigh. She moaned and her legs squirmed at the contact.

Oliver may not have been an overtly sexual person, but he did know how to please his wife when it came to it.

Mai reached down to remove her underwear and Oliver helped her, delicately sliding the offending garments off her body. He then started kissing just below her knee and working his way up her leg, ever so slowly closer towards her—

"Oh you bastard! You tease!" she complained as he stopped and sat up.

He gave her a mock innocent look and she almost growled as she reached up and pulled him closer.

"You enjoy teasing me too much."

"Maybe I do," Oliver replied, smirking.

Mai, determined to wipe that smirk off his smug face, pressed her lips to his and reached down into his boxers to massage him. He released a low guttural noise and Mai felt the strength momentarily leave his limbs. She grinned, satisfied with the reaction.

"I think you should take these off," she purred, pinging the elastic of his boxers.

Oliver complied with her suggestion.

"How do you want to—"

"Lie down," Mai said.

She climbed back on top of him and sat on his groin, gently rocking against him. She allowed the sensation to build and threw her head back with a breathy moan. Oliver reached up and caressed his wife's breasts.

He felt her trembling reaction and holding her in place, sat up. He cupped her arse and gave it a quick squeeze. Mai wrapped her arms around Oliver. He took one nipple in his mouth and flicked it with his tongue. Mai's fingernails dug into his back as she gasped. He repeated the action, and Mai matched the rocking of her hips with the speed of his tongue.

"Mai," he whispered. "Don't come just yet if you still want to…"

Mai stared at her husband blankly, having ceased all movement.

"We don't have to—"

"Sorry," she replied, "I got all caught up. You make it feel so good and—"

"If you just want to finish, that's fine. I just—"

She silenced him once again with a kiss, then knelt up and reached for his cock. She then lowered herself onto him, maintaining eye contact as she did so.

"I want this," she purred. "Now kiss me."

"Yes Ma'am."

He kissed his wife and held her close to him. He would not move first. He would let her get used to—

A groan forced itself from his lips as she lifted herself up a little and slammed back down. He bucked up against her and grabbed her arse again. She pressed her breasts into his face and Oliver took the hint. He took her nipple into his mouth and she threw her head back, unable to make a coherent sound.

Oliver ignored the growing sensation in his own groin. His entire concentration was on her, the goddess on top of him. Mai made no effort to dampen the noises escaping her lips.

"Oh! Fuck, yes! Faster!"

Oliver did not know if she meant his tongue or his hips. He thrust into her, increasing his pace until he could go no faster, holding her body close to his as if his life depended on it. Her nails raked his back and he grunted at the sensation.

His own pleasure was reaching breaking point. But he had to hold out. He reached two fingers down and pressed them against Mai's clit.

"Oh fuck!"

Oliver forced himself to pick up the pace.

"Oh fuck! Oh! Yes!"

He could not hold himself together. Mai tensed around him. He let out a shout of pleasure. Mai's fingernails broke the skin of his back. He jerked against her.

And finally, they fell still, the only movement the rise and fall of their chests.

Oliver relaxed back onto the pillows, eyes closed and out of breath. Mai collapsed on top of him, panting.

"Are you okay?" he murmured.

"Yeah, I guess so," she teased. "That was adequate, I suppose."

Oliver sighed pointedly and made to push her off of him, but she held him tight and he gave up.

"We should start our days like this more often," she said.

"I would be worn out before I managed to do anything productive for the day," Oliver muttered.

"You sound like an old man."

"I was born an old man."

Mai giggled and eased herself off of her husband. She let herself fall beside him and cuddled up.

"You're going to make a good dad," she said.

"You think?"

"Of course."

Oliver kissed his wife on the top of the head. But before could do anything else, Mai's phone began to ring. She reached over, picked it up and answered it without paying any attention to who the caller was.

"Hello, Mai Davis speaking— Luella! We were just talking about you!" Oliver narrowed his eyes at his wife and the wide grin on her face. "Yes, Oliver really wants to see you—"

Oliver snatched the phone away from his wife.

"Hello, Mother."

" _Oliver! Is that right? Do you really want to see me? Your father and I are quite free today if_ —"

"I'm sorry, Mother, I have something very important to do today."

Mai scoffed at his words.

"You don't have anything—" she began.

"Yes, Mai and I have decided we're going to try for a baby so I must get right on that. I'm sure she'll want to phone and tell you all about it later. Got to go, goodbye!"

He hung up and threw the phone in the vague direction of their abandoned clothing.

"Oi! That was my phone!" Mai protested. "And what on earth are you on about? You barely made it through round one, old man."

"I am going to make myself a cup of tea and then we'll see, won't we?" Oliver said. He stood up and pulled on his pyjamas. "Besides, I thought when trying for a baby you had to christen every room in the house."

"You just made that up," Mai retorted with a laugh.

Oliver walked towards the bedroom door.

"Well if you don't think you can keep up…" he trailed off and left in search of tea.

Mai laughed, pulled on her own nightwear and raced after her husband.

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 **Author's note: Please review :)**


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